Early on in Nico Lang’s debut book, “American Teenager,” readers meet Wyatt, a transgender teen living in South Dakota. A sensitive and kind ballet student, Wyatt and his family open their hearts and home to Lang. Wyatt, who was 15 at the time of Lang’s interview, shares that he had to grow up fast as a trans kid in a red state.
“I feel like my teen years have been stolen,” Wyatt tells Lang. “Even if I have good memories, it’s always like, ‘Oh, this is the year the bathroom bill was introduced,’ not ‘This is the year I went to Disney with my family.’ I wish being trans wasn’t my whole life—because it’s really not—but it does affect a lot of my life.”
This kind of candid conversation happens frequently in “American Teenager,” as Lang travels across the country over nine months to chronicle the experiences of eight young trans and nonbinary people. Lang, a queer, nonbinary journalist who has written for Rolling Stone, Esquire, and the LA Times, just to name a few, is the kind of person you want to open up to. Often wearing a porkpie hat and a graphic tee, Lang exudes a welcoming, youthful presence that makes you feel like you could easily overshare. It’s exactly this kind of realness that has garnered Lang multiple awards, including a GLAAD Award and the first-ever Visibility Award from the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund.
While trans youth have been at the center of many news reports, anti-trans legislation, and rhetoric in recent years, rarely do we see what their lives and their families’ lives are actually like. Lang centers these teens and allows them the freedom to share their triumphs and frustrations in equal measure—whether it’s access to gender-affirming care, the difficult decision to move to more trans-friendly places, or friendships and heartaches. All too often, like Wyatt, these teens have had to grow up too fast in a world that both infantilizes and villainizes their struggles.
Lang spent a year traveling from Alabama to California, meeting with trans youth and their families. Making real connections with parents, teens, and even siblings, Lang earns the nickname “Uncle Nico” from Wyatt’s family.
What Lang uncovers in their travels and shares with us is that trans kids are doing their best to get through the day, like pretty much every other teenager. They love going to camp, hanging out with friends and dancing. They eat ice cream and tease their younger siblings. But unlike their peers, they also bear the burden of not knowing if their affirming healthcare is secure. If they need to use the bathroom, they may worry about being chased out or not having anywhere to go at all. They might even have to face windows being cut into spaces that should be their private respite.
Lang’s writing feels as comfortable in this longer format as it does in their articles (including this one for News is Out) and on their Queer News Daily Instagram page. It’s clear from the introduction of “American Teenager” that Lang gets it.
“For those who do not know a transgender young person, I hope that in reading ‘American Teenager,’ you feel as if you do, that you feel as if you are part of the fabric of these kids’ extraordinary, ordinary lives,” says Lang.
It’s exactly the extraordinary ordinariness of these lives that makes “American Teenager” a must-read, especially for those who want to be better allies. While fellow trans and nonbinary youth will likely see reflections of themselves on these pages, allies can gain a much deeper understanding of what these kids face from their state governments, school boards, medical professionals, and peers.
You can pick up a copy of “American Teenager” wherever books are sold.