This article was published in partnership with The Barbed Wire. Courtesy of The 19th.
At a bustling venue on Sunday, the speakers boomed with a remix of “Stayin’ Alive.”
Heather Schenk and Ty Linhardt had traveled from Chickasha, Oklahoma, for the Big Queer Wedding Party in Austin, where ten couples came to get married and renew their vows in the sanctuary of a former Baptist church.
Guests stepped carefully around the flowing train of Schenk’s white gown on their way to the bar. The dress’s low-cut back framed her tattoos and long blonde braids.
She was overjoyed to finally be wearing it.
Schenk and Linhardt’s original wedding plans went awry when Linhardt fell down a flight of stairs the night before their 2024 destination wedding in St. Croix. She spent the next 10 days in the hospital and, since they hadn’t yet exchanged vows, Schenk wasn’t guaranteed the right to visit.
By the time they were able to get married, their whole wedding party and even Schenk’s dress had been sent home. They got married anyway, even if it wasn’t how they had imagined it. “We had people that we met on the island just meet us on the beach, and our officiant got COVID the night before,” Schenk said.
In Austin on Sunday afternoon, the chilly winter weather seemed far from the warm sandy beaches where they’d first wed. Yet the pair seemed relieved to be surrounded by the happy chaos, lace, sequins, and rainbow glitter. After they renewed their vows, Schenk shared a message of perseverance for others in the LGBTQ+ community.
“Keep showing up,” she said, “use your voice and love who you love.”
(Salgu Wissmath for The 19th)
The queer community has held a collective breath, waiting to see which rights will be stripped away next. In October, the right to wed was chipped away in Texas thanks to a rule change, approved by the Texas Supreme Court, which now allows judges to decline performing marriages based on their religious beliefs.
Then, about a month ago, the U.S. Supreme Court weighed if it would take up an appeal by Kim Davis, the former Kentucky county clerk and opponent of LGBTQ+ rights, to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges, the 2015 decision that set a constitutional right to same-sex marriage.
That’s when Noah Day, an Austin resident, approached Becky Bullard, the creator of the progressive political event planning company Democrasexy. Day has two kids from a former marriage and only has legal custody of them thanks to the same marriage rights they feared others might soon lose.
(Salgu Wissmath for The 19th)
“We need to show up for each other and protect each other and send each other love, because we all belong, and I want all of us here, and I will not be quiet about that,” Day said.
The two teamed up with Denise Hernández, a queer Latina judge who oversees Travis County Court #6, to plan what would be a protest if the right to same-sex marriage was under threat. On November 10, the U.S. Supreme Court declined to revisit the landmark decision — though judges may still decline to perform same-sex marriages in Texas.
Schenk and Linhard discovered the event thanks to an Instagram reel posted by Hernández.
With marriage equality secure, at least for now, The Big Queer Wedding Party at the Cathedral, East Austin’s church-turned-art gallery, was an act of joyous defiance to show that LGBTQ+ Texans are still here — and still loving each other.
The happy couples — along with their friends, family and many curious community members — poured into the Cathedral under a heart-shaped balloon arch to fill the former church with celebration. The entire event was free, with food and drinks donated by local companies and luscious wedding cakes from Sugar Mama’s Bakeshop.
District 3 City Council Member José Miguel Anwar Velásquez stopped by to share that the city of Austin had formally declared December 7 to be “Big Queer Wedding Party Day.”
“The Bible tells us that love is patient and love is kind, and it doesn’t envy, it doesn’t boast, it is slow to anger, it’s not proud … yada yada yada, right?” Velásquez told the crowd in plush green velvet chairs. “I’m reading this to remind the people that abuse those words, that abuse the words of love … the words of togetherness, that love is the only motherfucking way.”
The event attracted couples from all across the state to make or renew their vows to each other under the guidance of Hernández. In all, eight couples got married, and two renewed their vows along with live music, DJ sets, drag performers, and free snacks and libations.
During the four years she’s been in office, Hernández believes she’s officiated more than 100 weddings, including group weddings held every Pride month. She said she began hearing from LGBTQ+ couples in Texas within days of the approval of the rule change by the state’s highest court.
“There’s just so much fear and shame that comes from going to a courthouse in hopes to celebrate your marriage and then being turned away just for being who you are. And I think that that’s a huge fair access issue for our court system,” Hernández said by phone before the party.
Hernández admitted that even with her “deep legal knowledge of the constitutional rights around marriage and marriage equality,” she’d been afraid for the future of this important human right while waiting to hear if the U.S. Supreme Court would reconsider it. “You could feel the stress, the fear, the overwhelm in our communities.”
According to Brian Klosterboer, a staff attorney for the ACLU of Texas, the U.S. Supreme Court at least appears reluctant to undo the legal precedent it set with the 2015 Obergefell decision. Doing so would potentially upset a decade of legally binding marriages and related adoptions, inheritances, and other ramifications from the decision. In addition, same sex marriage remains popular in the United States.
However, Klosterboer was troubled by the state’s ruling enabling Texas judges to refuse to perform certain marriages. “Allowing them to openly express discriminatory beliefs does set a dangerous precedent, and hopefully the vast majority of our judges remain neutral and impartial to everyone who comes into their courtroom or seeks their public services.”
Standing under a trellis decorated with delicate bouquets of autumnal flowers, Judge Hernández called each couple forward for their turn. One newlywed couple from Austin and San Antonio, Nicollette Lemkuhl and Olivia Acosta, brought along Lemkuhl’s 4-year-old son, Niam, who wore a dark suit matching Acosta’s, and clung to her throughout the ceremony. While Lemkuhl expressed frustration that we’re still fighting for marriage equality, she said, “that we can do this in a church setting, without fear, we’re very proud to be here.”
Speaking to the crowd, Bullard invoked the memory of the late U.S. Rep. Barbara Jordan, the first Black woman elected to the Texas Senate since reconstruction. Jordan lived with her partner, Nancy Earl, for 20 years before she died in 1996, almost two decades before marriage equality.
“I like to think that Barbara, her partner, and all those other partners who were never able to be accepted by the system are here with us in spirit tonight, and I just want to acknowledge them,” she said.
“It’s really important to celebrate wins when we get them, but they don’t mean that we can stop, unfortunately,” Bullard said.
To cheers, her co-organizer Day declared: “Love is an act of resistance, and our community is so brave and resilient.”
“Although you shouldn’t have to be brave or resilient to be yourself, we are and we will always continue to hold each other up,” they continued.
Ximena Arevalo and Nicole Kohn drove in from Houston. They had decided to get married after an October trip to Austin for a Reneé Rapp concert, and the pair discovered the event by googling LGBTQ+ friendly judges. When Hernández wed the pair, in one of the day’s most charming moments, she declared the two to be “wife and lad.”
“Marriage is between two people,” the “lad,” Arevalo, said. “It doesn’t matter who they are, what it is, what you identify as, as long as you’re happy with your person.”
Judge Selena Alvarenga from the 460th District Criminal Court, the first openly LGBTQ+ judge elected in Travis County, and Judge Laurie Eiserloh from the 455th Civil District Court, joined Hernández for the final weddings.
Eiserloh recounted how, before Obergefell, she and her wife of 36 years depended on another Travis County judge to approve her adoption of her own children. “It was a strange moment, but that’s what had to happen before marriage equality,” she recalled.
“It is a deep honor to get to serve alongside these phenomenal women,” Hernández said. “They lead in a guiding community, but as a young judge, I get to feel very inspired to work with them and to lead and guide alongside them, and to stand so true in our identities together.”
Each of the judges took a turn in leading the ceremony for the two couples, with Eiserloh declaring, “What we create here together is … a reminder that love not only collides between two people, but expands outward to strengthen our communities.”
As she finished one set of weddings, Hernández reminded the crowd of the importance of being present when our community is under attack. “I want to take a moment just to acknowledge that if you are queer or you are an ally, your presence here is so important today, as we are navigating the state of Texas, as we’re navigating safety in our communities, by showing up, you bring power to all of us.”